Wednesday, December 28, 2016

hehe one tinder story

she was a  girl who was not advanced type as much as his tinder frnd was .so one day she felt he is very different person from others she has met because he was a model actor and choreagrapher so she just felt great about him because she has not been in such environments where entertainment field works could hear ,one day she searched about that boy on google she got many pictures of him on google by otself she got impressed even from thaside he was cute descent innocent and even somekind a alone in banglore so he was also thinking the girl is some whAt different and easy go kind so both LIKED EACG OTHER.but the girl hadlied that she is not in banglore only because she just felt she cant go immediately to meet that person but the boy called her right after that day on which they just had shared there was nice move by her this just made them to share nice chat between them.girl was very becaus ehe was very sweet and kind one day came she had go to his house it was five days after he asked .
      she went to his place he was not active so much in techniques so she couldnt get exact address she waited there tfor him but he failedto get her so girl just used her mind so they met finally fst she felt awkward there in his house not fopr him he was very handsome cute stylish kind sweet down to earth she felt awkward because she was feeling no confidence in front of still she kept herslef managed inn scolding him not givingher a propr[er adresshe was loughing  she felt that cute and happy for that.after that.they went to his homehe made cha[atis dal exactly like in indian style she loved it but she wont eat much when she is with somebody she is mad about.she just loved him like hell he was so sweet with her he fed her with her hand that was something she never saw even her sister feeds her with her hand but not with that love she loved it she just wanted to kiss him right that time ...after that she met dog in his home it was so cute so adorable so kind its eyes exactly like him.she just patting her dog and it was enjoying after that the boy and girl was sitting on sofa dog came and just started pushing me towards her boy hehe she loved this even he
    she just fell into his arms he was very confirtable for her it was exact sleeping pose she has alwaysa dreamt. he kissed her head her chicks even she kissed then he hugged her kissed her but she dint like wet kissso some break happened again she loved him hugged him he said lets take some rest he took her to room there they just hugged each other he kissed her hold her ,
thenhe took her to bed where suddenly he started undressing her even she was nothaving a problem so she just kept quite he loved his boobs he started sucking them she felt awessome they kissed again now he started down she dint like he got upset they came out of bedroom they kissed a

Tuesday, October 11, 2016



some unknown letters thier inisde analysed things in thier words

well i feel sometimes my parents are selfish they don't want me to get married ,yep this is my story where all parents what their child seen marrying but my parents never raised a question of my marriage never I'm 26 stepping into 27 but my dad never raised question about this .now I'm well settled with good job but they don't tell me now also they just say read further for the next better job what the fuck.

when i said i love someone and i want to get marry to him they just said yes you can they never excited about what i said to them its just like oh okay you liked someone he also liked you nice good what the fuck man so to justify my sentence and decision i just went with my dad to office to just drop him or just to talk about the things  for which i dint get the proper response .

after some days my dad said you people get married in resister office now i don't have money after sometime we can arrange a big ceremony for you marriage that time i just burst out of shock inside my mind though i dint show it outside but it always stayed in my heart ,y i agree their might not be money at that time but if i were in their situation or anybody else they would not be telling directly like that even gnya dad priya dad not richer then us die daily for their marriage just cry for their marriage not only their every Indian parents not only others even me i would also be trying for my kids marriage if they would have been of my age i definitely would have been worried of this thing so i really wonder what kind of parents do i have,not only my parents even my brother too he also doesn't worry about my marriage man he married two women but not thinking of my marriage at all what type of family i  have is it a type of selfish ?????

even when i was about to marry madhu everybody was not happy specially my dad ya of course my mom was dam happy but even my sis was not happy she was feeling little insecure ,

and sfter somedays when the relationship broke between me and madhu my great great mom dad thought that if the relation was made between madhu and sangeeta the marriage would have happened for the best what the fuck,i just broke down again at that time they just called me and said ask them(madhu family) if something can happen again between sangeeta and madhu i just got speechless in that matter ya i agree the thought just arrived was natural(and they dint gave me a little time also and they never thought of my healing not thought of my pains my depression) but saying directly like it was something kind of deal it is somewhat not acceptable by me she always even say to me that she want person not like she just want him what the fuck,i know even in future they don't hesitate to mention that that madhu was more suitable for her but in actual she is just a bitch this was known by every friend of her even mukesh and even nagendra that's why he left her ,i dont know why this happened the some thing that happened between me and madhu same happened between sangeeta and nagedra but the more bad happened with sangeeta because she just behaved like bitch and she is bitch.I'm sorry she loves me in some other way she just love me for reasons i don't know let it be i support her as much as i can i never wish bad for her after all they are my only family i don't have anyone else to say my people .

yes i can say that what had happened wit madhu just helped me to know the reality of relationships of family how own they might be the bitterness really exist

just thoughts

huh i m 26 now i feel every second i interact with people is just a war with my reaction and actual reaction i choose to react in front of the action,sometimes i feel just to cut out all people from my life and just enjoy myself,even sometimes i feel my family sometimes annoying but they are the most part of my life,because all these people make me to compare me wit all fake people
     now I'm in confusion whether to do wireless PSI or read for civil PSI or read for PDO exam
 i want to do big i think i should go for civil PSI because even PDO is limited but in civil i wont be having time for reading KAS or IAS i will have to do just my duty i wont get time i guess but if i continue my wireless job ill get a plenty of time to read for IAS i may get top with this but if i wont get success in IAS then my life will be lost in this wireless if i get civil at least i can enjoy my life with some power guruji please guide me

or something else is around my mind that if i continue to work in wireless i can enjoy my life in adventures like paragliding roaming around the world, exploring the world which will also be like romancing the life ,sometimes i feel helping people is like no use u can see mahatma gandhiji he enjoyed helping them even i can enjoy but if i find people will be cheap no matter how big things u can do for them example u can see in priyadarshini gnyaneshwari dad mom all behaved in such a cheap way sometimes u never imagined but u just ignored their all their mistakes and moved on .kanchan the so said my best friend was so big lessen to my life this lesson i get and i see in many relation or everywhere i see ,its just that u r always replaceable no matter how hard you try u are always replaceable and this replacement takes no time if you don't look good yep the big truth which always got proved is that the not good looking people get ignored or unnoticed by the people and rejection without reason .

when two sisters exist in a family there always exist a comparison between them no matter how close they are but parents never fail to compare if not publicly they will sure do it inn their mind and for sure keep it in their mind yep its obvious even i do comparison its un avoidable evil or necessary evil arise in our mind automatically  .but the fact is that these comparison hurt some people very badly i m one among those ya of course i managed to study better then her so its in balance now if we both go to our native place people see me with more humble view of image of that intelligent girl and enjoy that now i came to know what is called its just survival of the fittest,everyone has to fight for the survival its just a darwin theory,it do takes natural things and many others peace and some try to understand just like me

people say who love each other they tend to fight but i really don't understand,these small fights just show the reality of relationship what kind of understanding they have with each other i found this completely missing between gnya and me its just at zero level between her me ,i just fail to understand her completely ya when i had gone to her home she treated me like I'm her own sister no doubt in that but when she visited my room i just dint treat her well i felt bad for that bur for that kind of my treating to her had some strong reasons behind it its just a collection of all her past behavior
,i just want to feel her more then my sister but she just miss use it and misused it infinite times she took it for granted many times we just hate that everything i do whether bad or good will be having a justifiable reason but some of her reaction wont have explanation i find myself failed in getting why she behaved like that there are many people who does things like this, and i always thought of boycotting them completely, i blocked my friends many times ,this behavior of mine made my blocked list lengthier then the my friend list

Friday, October 7, 2016

seems one thing in actual its different

  jumbles of feelings, giving reasons to the cause happens because mind just want to give you reasons that the happened thing is happened by the others fault not yours so person just get struck on other faults and ignore the wrongs done by the peron himself,this can be very dangerous as it may lead to a growth of foolishness and not doing self assessment,

me really get upset when i found myself in this confusion,what happened is that some day i introduced that worthless meghnath to gnyaneshwari she just got mad on that boy even that boy who earlier brought a a quarrel between sisters was really a full time flirty he just start talkings to boy by simple flirt yes and that gnya got impressed she just needed someone not only her everyone just need someone to get flirted or to flirt or someone wabout whom they may have hope of getting liked as i know as my psychology she dint know any person who is working so she easily got impressed by him she totally behind him and this side this meghnath (i even dont remember his name correctly) was happy because he thought i got heart by his successfull attemp of impressing my friendhe was just happy about that and he doesn't cheat by hiding somethings he just started cheating her harassing her openly even she enjoy it who doesn't have any other options in spite of getting enjoyed in his open flirting not only this she alwya used to talk about his activities with me huhhh i used to get so much irritated by her attraction towards him i knew this is not the feelings she getting but instead its something else i can figure out

khaiiir there is no point ion finding reasons for everythimg happened if you find the reason also then trhere cant be done anything because heart feels it whatever may be the reason it just makes the heart feel which is the best feeling might be they are false but they seems true to person .and by the way what eart feels just makes person live in a hallucination or say some kind of effect of drug it produces ,well i can get that the whole concept of this society family relationships itself is some hallucination but man doesn't have any other plans to live he can enjoy in whatever way he goes whether it may be being in some nasha or drug world or just like monk but both seems equal no differences after all i fing there is no meaning to life at all its just tyimepass the thing which matters is only how much you enjoy in whatever the situation may be,i after thinking this much in depth sometimes even i fail to avoid beautiful things happen in life i just get attracted them

for me if you laugh is okay if you don't laugh that also okay nothing is better nothing is lesser ,but still feel normal life is good but there we have to get hurt infinite times we just have to forget the bad happened with us ignorance of people just have to forgive people and move with then this sentence is the complete mantra of healthy social life i really get hear very badly if someone ignore my talks ,i just hate waiting for the message that's why i don't have boyfriend yes of course there were some friendship that was going in this way but i just hated it because i get really curious about things that are related to me so my mind will be thinking all the time it wont be in rest not even for one secondary i just calculate relationships which is really not healthy for any relation its alwyas end up getting broke up with the relation just start calculation even at the beginning of the friendship itself,i can only make relations or commit to someone only when they are ready for committing with me 200% even if 0.1% they behaved strangely i start thinking i just start every possible ways using my psychology if i find it something wrong i just start taking reverse ghair that sit i never think of moving further if i dont have chance also i wont think of miving, i know this is just not really good for anything,may be its my ego or something selfrespect or something which epect more and if it is not met i just abandon it completely every person in my life i atleast once have boycotted them completely ya after they make some effort to get to me ill just reverse my decision,this thing happene d with all of my Friends,

 when gnya appreciates anything about that meghnathi just feel he doesn't deserve all the praise u are saying to me about him he just worthless but she doesnt agree it she is just mad about him when i say bad about him she just counter attack my sentence which i hate like hell many time i just insulted her only taking his topics just hate insulting her showing her that i dont care about her it hurts me more then she get hurt i feel guilty of hurting her and it makes me feel cheap about myself,so in total being in contact wit my friends often makes me feel cheap about me which i hate like anything else.

but in dealing with all of them i feel there is some problem with myself

i know i m better then gnya in behaving wit people in respecting people in enjoying life in every other part but she also good but at some point she suddenly get hiked i just hate that even she get angry on some unnecessary thing on his Father too and just say on his face without thinking in which manner she is advising or who are all there around the person she elling at this she did even to me not only one tome many times and every time she behaved like this i quarreled wit her she wont stand at quarrels but advising someone withnsuch a bad manner she doesn't feel it like quarreling but i feel it like world war in my heart just this is the problem between her and me

now when she just said about that meg i dont know whether i get angry on her because i hate him or because she likes me or because he talk wit her or because i hate that person i dont know what reason makes me get irritated when she tells about him just live life no use of getting deep if its hearting let it hurt what u can do by finding reasons behind it it just happened there is no use of finding the reasons happened behind accident it happened cant be reversed so just move on keeping in mind the faults happened in the past

these analysis of mine help me to recharge myself and keep the mind in stable

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

kati patang

my god such s movie mind blowing it was .and what a meaning full name the movie just made me speechless.
   and what to say about acting yar it is at its best .rajesh khanna was awssom yet so down to earth.devinity exist man really .when i see old films i just feel cheap about the present actors and celebrities .
    asha parekh actress she is so beautifull then also no overacting no show offs i just dont have words to praise this team.
     in that movie the old man dies because of poisening ,he just simply dies only because the maid allowed villain into her life thats seems silly mistakes by a silly person yet leads to so big result .who should me made responsible for all these things yar i dont understand
   today i c believe that ghost exist and even god too the only thing that makes me think god does not exist is because of so many injustice happening in the world to innocents ,so many people die without thier mistakes ,floods happen and lives go and other lives suffer,innocent people get suppressed who will be made responsible for it.ya people may give reason as because of sins made in last birth but what is the proof for it ....
       i feel myself in a coward position yar because so many things happening around and i m not doing anything good for people .im not in a action mode it kills me,even my job doesnot help people much i can help them with only my salary but not by my power,
    and of course people wont listen to you without any big reason just like this bloody my sbr mate huh.i feel like i dont have any frnd to whom i can say i trust her or i can say she is of my maturity or equal to my understanding no  one .yep people say all fingers can not be same,
    people are dumb.98% are dumb .if not dumb then im the among those two % who does not entertain the dumb ones .the only one dumb that have been giving my time and  entertaining is my sbr mate thats it .today i decided not to advise her she just give some annoying replies to the adviser and she is completely dumb like her family.
   mostly the world itself is like that not acting wise or else the only surounding i have been might be like that otherwise you can see most of the people enjoy their surrounding ,you will find very less people complaining about thier surounding.

people or my problem

i have one roomate she just sucks ...i dont know why i so much difficutly in bearing her ..i  just dont want to see her around it just irritates me more tanything else..not only she i feel irrritated by most of the people even they dont do or say anything but i feel irritated anooyed by the presence of few kind of not getting whether it is there fault or mine i just not able to figure it out.this girl has job equal to clerk but she behaves as if she has some great offficer job i just wqant to slap on herfice many times ..she does not even talk nicely to her customer not even old people man ..and dont ask me about her attitude o god it just more then enough to get her killed by me i dont know why i hate her..when she gives something to eat i just feel like pleasedont favor us like this but i cant say no yar i dont have a habit pof saying people no if they give me something to eat whether bad things or tastier i just through it if i dont like but in whole i dont feel like saying no to them .she talks nice whenever need arise but then all bitterness for her get vanishes i dont understand this behaviour of me.

    why people cant have a smile on their face is it because they dont bear a beautiful face ..sometimes i feel like she doesnot know how to show manners only because she grown in a village and her attitude is so because she grown in such a surounding where people feel one any government job is not less then a DC post f*** so thats made her attitude ghamandi...and also sometimes i feel like let her nbe like how she want why i should bother.but she sucks i dont know what she just want to show people ohh you just suck you bitch..

    this is not the first time i hate this much there were many gals i hated like this yep..even in delhi when i stayed with three other gals lol i hated all those three but made one my frnd and openly had arguments with other two.they were all good at heart but still i never came to know what made me to get irrritated or annoyed by them. ya sometime i feel like i get jealous with some people and because of that i might be feeling hatred for them.
      i dont want to see people around me specially when somebody is like these gals .i just want to boycott them completely.


Sunday, August 14, 2016


       wonderfull actor, i have seen him immersing completely himself in the role ,whatever the role is always i have seen hin with best for that role ,he doesnt try to be best at his talent instead he always been at best for that role .the whole we can say that he is acting but  ,i feel he always live his role, not acting yes .the movie maqbool oh my god such a intense story,but after seeing this movie i felt llike who can be made responsible for the things happened or things come in some heart and made it to happen.,
      arjun kapoor in that movie was a undeclared villain and amitab bachan was the one innocent hero who is very sensitive who alwyas lived imaginary world and will become a part of the tragedy happened because of the greed of arjun kapoor.very sad to see arjun kapoor in a negative role

Saturday, August 13, 2016

jhon abraham

my fevrite hero heeee just love the way he loughs,just love his eye his simplycity well dont have much to say but i just love him.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Happened for good

my friend story in her words-

yes i have something to say ,i met one person on shadi .com  it was just like love at first sight but here it was his photo in civil dress, i  got attracted to his stetcher of his body then fell in love with his silence then fell in love with his limited replies but  my conscience mind says the reason behind  i had fell for him  was that i couldnt get importance from him this made me think about him, this was unknown fact to me that time but i just started missing him without reason i enjoyed remembering him thinking many things that could happen if he was with me and i really enjoyed it, i was completely lost in him,but it just made me fall in love with him  .may be i dont feel like it was love may be lust but not completely,but i enjoyed each second of our conversation and also the time i spent remembering him. still i do and many times i feel like if i get a better person i can completely forget him yep this is true in every love this can  happen and in fact  sometiomes i forget him and within two weeks i have come over him .our conversation was completely a kind of newly married couple which was really a beautiful part .
   he just shown me that good man do exist still :) he was not like me but generous like me :) i was  blessed with more liberal mind then him.he was bothered about soceity more and for me its like society lol does it even exist?/

      ya he was with the success and i was still seeking it, so i felt it is easy to join a success rather to earn ,so this reason somewhere made me think of marrying him unknowingly .he asked me to marry him i was so happy that time, i just danced like mad i felt so nice i cantt explain in  words .i said him to decide after a meet he said okay .we had so much talks i remeber them all the time with a irreresistable smile on my face .to be frank sometimes we have to enjoy things instead thinking it right or wrong judging it by brain or thinking where it can lead us,because whatever happened in this love was completely what i wanted that also unknowingly yes thing happened was the wish of my soul my principles  not my idiot mind
     he wanted kids lots of kids but i never wished in my whole life to be a mother i just hate kidsi never take them in my arms i just smile to them or tease them i cant pamper yar.ya i want to pamper my love if i get in future not the one i felt like it was love.
    he shown me what relationship is how it is to be a someone's love he made me feel like special but not really .
    even he wanted me to stay sometime in his mother home which i hated,i just wanted to cut over every workload of me on my family just by marrying him so i just always discouraged his talks about being close to my family he took it wrongly lol yep i know im currect and not only correct i was awssom at my dicisions if people cant understand it if they cant see it through my vision then its not my fault infact its shows thier level of understandiung they just cant think beyond the borders set by the society.but within few days he completely understood me.
     i just feel lucky for my liberal thinkings it makes me feel like a free bird thanks to my guruji and my i feel like if i get my love then i just really can shover a love which is beyond only beauty does not attract me but it is necessary i feel because i saw his photo few days back he was not the same i loved ,he was not meeting my requirements if had in contact with him i just would have scolded him for letting his cheeks bulge lol ,sounds like stupid but the fact is this only, physical appearance do make differences .

  if i had married him i could not have passed PSI exam and many future plans would have lost in a some marriage house and pregnancy f***.
other side of this story was that if you are in love then you wont be in peace ya you may feel like in peace but only till he or she is on phone with you or more then that .but everybody knows that love needs  a feeling of secureness every second .so i think staying sinlge really makes you feel like free bird lets your mind get deep sleeep without any worries .whether bad or good feelings it just simply makes keeps disturbed and busy .love just makes your world small revolving only around lover unless it is a great love otherwise we have examples where love made mirracles .
  so the search is on i just ask myself where i smy love does he even exist does my destiny has him or something other thing is there where i have recognize pray for me :)


        the movie SUR was the one which made me to think on the topic jealous,yes jealousy which ruins the goodness in a man .
               jealousy is a common feeling everyone gets but most of  people just cant face this so they start facing themselves instead of facing the truth thats where man start fighting with the own self and  mis interprit this and start opposing the person from whom he was getting jealous beacause he feels like he is the reason behind his insecureness though he does not accept that he is feeling insecure because accepting that may make him feel like looser. this is just a one face of jealous.
             the origin of jealousy comes when third party start taking part when someone feels like they can be replaced by this third party well to be secure in this world is very important for being in peace.yes the first thing that jealous will engulf is peace
            well jealousy will continue to come in all lives .all beings will have to come across this becouse everything is mortal in this universe so new things do come and have to replace the old ,this is how world stay younger always,everyone has chance to come on stage and prform and feel the zeel.people should not feel it like defending them but instead they should just let it happen and find the reason to enjoy it or else fight this with inventing themselves as the need is ontherwise find the ways to come over it and lead the life again with the unique style which can make them relive the life again with the new view  new style instead of grieving in that jealous feeling .


let feelings come and go but dont try to harm yourself by anything like scolding others keeping your mood down or like absconding evryone or harming the one which lead to feel jealous  .keeping an outlet door for jealousy can make you feel like air breezing in the world or some world you never imazined  yep trust me just see it observe it and let it not ruin you or bring bittrness in you :).

  in fact according to my opinion one should not live for this society,should live for themselves start comparing with yourself  ,you will become best within no time .society makes people become greed it just make people to build a  competetion guides people interest which i just hate ,let your mind flow like bird enjoying the fly.
        competetion is what something which killls creativty in person who start following famous paths instead following their heart or brain ..ya but many have faced it with a bang who were confident of themselves who grown up and thought on their own ways    .so people should live with happiness let the feeling flow like river and should not stop it if  some hindrance come like jealous .