Tuesday, October 11, 2016

just thoughts

huh i m 26 now i feel every second i interact with people is just a war with my reaction and actual reaction i choose to react in front of the action,sometimes i feel just to cut out all people from my life and just enjoy myself,even sometimes i feel my family sometimes annoying but they are the most part of my life,because all these people make me to compare me wit all fake people
     now I'm in confusion whether to do wireless PSI or read for civil PSI or read for PDO exam
 i want to do big i think i should go for civil PSI because even PDO is limited but in civil i wont be having time for reading KAS or IAS i will have to do just my duty i wont get time i guess but if i continue my wireless job ill get a plenty of time to read for IAS i may get top with this but if i wont get success in IAS then my life will be lost in this wireless if i get civil at least i can enjoy my life with some power guruji please guide me

or something else is around my mind that if i continue to work in wireless i can enjoy my life in adventures like paragliding roaming around the world, exploring the world which will also be like romancing the life ,sometimes i feel helping people is like no use u can see mahatma gandhiji he enjoyed helping them even i can enjoy but if i find people will be cheap no matter how big things u can do for them example u can see in priyadarshini gnyaneshwari dad mom all behaved in such a cheap way sometimes u never imagined but u just ignored their all their mistakes and moved on .kanchan the so said my best friend was so big lessen to my life this lesson i get and i see in many relation or everywhere i see ,its just that u r always replaceable no matter how hard you try u are always replaceable and this replacement takes no time if you don't look good yep the big truth which always got proved is that the not good looking people get ignored or unnoticed by the people and rejection without reason .

when two sisters exist in a family there always exist a comparison between them no matter how close they are but parents never fail to compare if not publicly they will sure do it inn their mind and for sure keep it in their mind yep its obvious even i do comparison its un avoidable evil or necessary evil arise in our mind automatically  .but the fact is that these comparison hurt some people very badly i m one among those ya of course i managed to study better then her so its in balance now if we both go to our native place people see me with more humble view of image of that intelligent girl and enjoy that now i came to know what is called its just survival of the fittest,everyone has to fight for the survival its just a darwin theory,it do takes natural things and many others peace and some try to understand just like me

people say who love each other they tend to fight but i really don't understand,these small fights just show the reality of relationship what kind of understanding they have with each other i found this completely missing between gnya and me its just at zero level between her me ,i just fail to understand her completely ya when i had gone to her home she treated me like I'm her own sister no doubt in that but when she visited my room i just dint treat her well i felt bad for that bur for that kind of my treating to her had some strong reasons behind it its just a collection of all her past behavior
,i just want to feel her more then my sister but she just miss use it and misused it infinite times she took it for granted many times we just hate that everything i do whether bad or good will be having a justifiable reason but some of her reaction wont have explanation i find myself failed in getting why she behaved like that there are many people who does things like this, and i always thought of boycotting them completely, i blocked my friends many times ,this behavior of mine made my blocked list lengthier then the my friend list

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