Friday, October 7, 2016

seems one thing in actual its different

  jumbles of feelings, giving reasons to the cause happens because mind just want to give you reasons that the happened thing is happened by the others fault not yours so person just get struck on other faults and ignore the wrongs done by the peron himself,this can be very dangerous as it may lead to a growth of foolishness and not doing self assessment,

me really get upset when i found myself in this confusion,what happened is that some day i introduced that worthless meghnath to gnyaneshwari she just got mad on that boy even that boy who earlier brought a a quarrel between sisters was really a full time flirty he just start talkings to boy by simple flirt yes and that gnya got impressed she just needed someone not only her everyone just need someone to get flirted or to flirt or someone wabout whom they may have hope of getting liked as i know as my psychology she dint know any person who is working so she easily got impressed by him she totally behind him and this side this meghnath (i even dont remember his name correctly) was happy because he thought i got heart by his successfull attemp of impressing my friendhe was just happy about that and he doesn't cheat by hiding somethings he just started cheating her harassing her openly even she enjoy it who doesn't have any other options in spite of getting enjoyed in his open flirting not only this she alwya used to talk about his activities with me huhhh i used to get so much irritated by her attraction towards him i knew this is not the feelings she getting but instead its something else i can figure out

khaiiir there is no point ion finding reasons for everythimg happened if you find the reason also then trhere cant be done anything because heart feels it whatever may be the reason it just makes the heart feel which is the best feeling might be they are false but they seems true to person .and by the way what eart feels just makes person live in a hallucination or say some kind of effect of drug it produces ,well i can get that the whole concept of this society family relationships itself is some hallucination but man doesn't have any other plans to live he can enjoy in whatever way he goes whether it may be being in some nasha or drug world or just like monk but both seems equal no differences after all i fing there is no meaning to life at all its just tyimepass the thing which matters is only how much you enjoy in whatever the situation may be,i after thinking this much in depth sometimes even i fail to avoid beautiful things happen in life i just get attracted them

for me if you laugh is okay if you don't laugh that also okay nothing is better nothing is lesser ,but still feel normal life is good but there we have to get hurt infinite times we just have to forget the bad happened with us ignorance of people just have to forgive people and move with then this sentence is the complete mantra of healthy social life i really get hear very badly if someone ignore my talks ,i just hate waiting for the message that's why i don't have boyfriend yes of course there were some friendship that was going in this way but i just hated it because i get really curious about things that are related to me so my mind will be thinking all the time it wont be in rest not even for one secondary i just calculate relationships which is really not healthy for any relation its alwyas end up getting broke up with the relation just start calculation even at the beginning of the friendship itself,i can only make relations or commit to someone only when they are ready for committing with me 200% even if 0.1% they behaved strangely i start thinking i just start every possible ways using my psychology if i find it something wrong i just start taking reverse ghair that sit i never think of moving further if i dont have chance also i wont think of miving, i know this is just not really good for anything,may be its my ego or something selfrespect or something which epect more and if it is not met i just abandon it completely every person in my life i atleast once have boycotted them completely ya after they make some effort to get to me ill just reverse my decision,this thing happene d with all of my Friends,

 when gnya appreciates anything about that meghnathi just feel he doesn't deserve all the praise u are saying to me about him he just worthless but she doesnt agree it she is just mad about him when i say bad about him she just counter attack my sentence which i hate like hell many time i just insulted her only taking his topics just hate insulting her showing her that i dont care about her it hurts me more then she get hurt i feel guilty of hurting her and it makes me feel cheap about myself,so in total being in contact wit my friends often makes me feel cheap about me which i hate like anything else.

but in dealing with all of them i feel there is some problem with myself

i know i m better then gnya in behaving wit people in respecting people in enjoying life in every other part but she also good but at some point she suddenly get hiked i just hate that even she get angry on some unnecessary thing on his Father too and just say on his face without thinking in which manner she is advising or who are all there around the person she elling at this she did even to me not only one tome many times and every time she behaved like this i quarreled wit her she wont stand at quarrels but advising someone withnsuch a bad manner she doesn't feel it like quarreling but i feel it like world war in my heart just this is the problem between her and me

now when she just said about that meg i dont know whether i get angry on her because i hate him or because she likes me or because he talk wit her or because i hate that person i dont know what reason makes me get irritated when she tells about him just live life no use of getting deep if its hearting let it hurt what u can do by finding reasons behind it it just happened there is no use of finding the reasons happened behind accident it happened cant be reversed so just move on keeping in mind the faults happened in the past

these analysis of mine help me to recharge myself and keep the mind in stable

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