Tuesday, January 31, 2017

what next

well after so many days oF gap from my IAS preparation nowi dont know how i will start .are there any chances of me getting in ranks but i love to keep studying recently they leave KAS notification again and im not preparaed for mains so what to do not getting should i prepare for IASor KAS. want to reach central i want massoori but have to read alot not late i guess in this training i have to reach where i want to be.I'M A BORN IAS sure this destination is for me exactly i cant imagine myslef in any lower post then the IAS yes that post is made for me for the betterment of that post i need to get there.
have to be determined  aa lot man .have to get a lot of confidence so how .how to make my mind again.guruji help.if i dont achieve this i will surely feel guilty in future i dont like that the only thing i want to achieve i didnt will be so embarassing for myself guruji you knowit right i want it .but i should want it very badly surely i will be the PM one day this brother dont know my plans he is the negative energy i see in my house. dont believe that person.ignore.


IAS IAS IAS IAS IAS WHAT TO DO HOW TO DO WHEN TO DO

Monday, January 30, 2017

zindagi kuch bhi nahi

well the only thing which makes me smile and become happy is wheni remember about madhu .i just love remembering him i get sweet smile on my face thats why the song made " zindagiiiii aur kich bhi nahi ,Teri meri kahani hai" loved it .it has become my favourite past time.
  man no memories gives me so much happiness as madhu's memories gives..thanks guruji thanks god thanks madhu love you so much . so beatifull song
  zinagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahani hai ..ek pyar ka nagma hai......"

Saturday, January 28, 2017

ajji mammaga

huh
he just want to interfere in everyones life .huh he doent understand what other person is going through he is that worst yeah i agree he is my blood relation but seriously man i just had sympathy for him but never love ya he laways thought of helping whole family but only unnecessarily atleast for me i never enjoyed his helping but it helped a lot .



man i feel being with him is like torturing myself he just want to judge people thats the very annoying thing i fing in people ya i agree even i judge people but only stranger man how can you judge a family person he just judge evryone mom dad ajji sangeeta me his friends thats why he doent have not even one wise friend he has only huble and people who doesnt have anything i mean people who just need someone ya i agree he has some persons who have nothing i think they are just with him because they are comfirtable with this person because of his level i just hate finding brother characters in me i feel insulting muslef guruji just save me man i just dont want to pick his call when he want to advise me. its my life let me leave it i know how much u have lived i know what kind of life u are leaving even you are not proud of your life then why you are just trying your rules and teaching me .even dad doesnt advise me so much he understand us he understand his limit but not you man just grow up .sometimes i bileive bad things happene to them who just torture other its just happened to you on that day your leg got twisted because of silly efforts you put please dont over reavct brother .i even get night mares of you which just puts me in terror so please fare me my life .if i get in trouble then it will be by my mistake so i wont be in so much grave as you are giving me now while teaching me your bloody stuff


i was never happy whenever i loughed with you it just made me feel that you are actually planing some mischieves with me and trying to get something out of me actaully i know yar even m sis she is so sweet with me even she helps me i wish i had a brother like who will be of my nature who would understand me but u never understood me i just dint think about you whenevr i got succes may be im fully wrong in undesrtanding you but the torture you give i have choices to avoid it but still i just keep quite to make things go easier for me or just to ignore things but i dont know this will continue later or not but ya i dont want to continue its better ou understand the generation gap


well people in my home wherther brother or sister both want to keep my success in secret which i dont like man its ponly a life so if u dont share your succes with your surrounding now then how can you build your image in the society howww..sometimes i feel ki these two my siblings just jealous of my succes so they got good reason to not to share my succes ya this may be one of the small reason they give to themselves to not share my success ..but if i had good media to spread my winning with others then i guess even my family would have got good respect from others .


i dont know the future of my brother i dont even want to advise him he is just a psycho a greatest psycho i have ever found in my life


oh god just same me from him even my sis wont listen anything against him even my mom doesnt listen aginst him so i dont have anyone to share a kind of torture im getting from him.jai guruji

weekend with ramesh

today whole day i was with laptop but just loved it it was everything laptop gave me happiness cry grief love fevrites confidence comedy family importance everything.that idiot whats his name so ething that is......sumith ya such a irritting man vya i dont like him .i just dont like boys with overconfidence and boys who keep on messaging gm and keep on saying gm even if i dont reply i dont understand i feel ki are they just make me remember that they are alive and trying for me or they just want to create some image of them in us or just they playing with our psychology come on guys im not a kind of girl who fall so easily yep...the boy i want is really will ne one in a million yes i dont know whethre ill get or not but im not goingf to fall for bad boy or who is very dramatic or who is very habitual to girls talking if he has any of these features then he must be having very sweet handsome face to make me fall for him yeahhh.i dont know im not so beautifull also that any good looking boy can propose me or can like me so its kind of a person on groung wishing for the moon but i think surelly ill get a person of moralistic value like madhu yep i believe in this
 gfst i saw silsiley movie wow beautifull movie the realistic movie , the pain bhumika actress had in that movie was so realistic man i just cried that moment i really feel ki such helplessnes can kill people and make them to meet with suicide .she made justice with her role so much i just loved her.and other story in that movie was of tabu actress i just loved her.she is so matured in her acting oh my god its matured then anyone else in the bollywood i have seen so realistic acting it was she became one of my favourite .love for her.she got cheated  by her husband who was a muslim who n\believe in getting marriage with as many womens he wants .she handled it very well.wellthese kind of films just open up the real face of the life which were easily get faded when we watch commercial movies i really have very respect for such non comercial non drama movies hatsoff to directors and producers who does those movies.


well even i have made my mind like those comercial movies so in case of my love life i just think like anjali in kuch kuch hotha hai movie .dont know wgat will happen even my friends believe that i dont get a person i want



even that idiot nethra who doent have even a smal idea of how im how my mentality is thinks my taste in selecting a bf will be very bad welll she just measure people by their cast i think its not her fault its actually her grown surrounding made her think like that no worries i dont get affected by those thinking i just only get irritated by these thinkings,....and i just slowly get awaya from those peopple may be not successfully

the big exapmle is gnyaneshwary she sucks yeah before also i have written this the thing i dint even like to talk about her i dont have interst and i have forgoten the reason i left her the only thing i remeber about her is some negactive feelings i just hate her i dont knowwhatds that and i dont want to analyse it yeahhh

interview

weell
 today im very depressed not because of anyone but only because of myself .im upset with my performance and my mindset.well i thpught i know the thing called be urself but i completely tried to be fake in that interview and its not that i was fake i knew but i just got struck up there and tried or bluffed blind answer expecting my mind to come up with great answer but i ended it with dumbest answere hu i lost it otherise i would have crossed 8 i guess ya hidden potentials i have need to explore from myself instead exploring in on dating apps ...but its the fact that i was unaware to face such situation where i dont know the answers ya i know i came across such situations many times but that was not the di or die situation where as yestrday it was just the same situation where i was asked by such a big persanalityies but i coudnot expres myself i found her more expressive then me ya she that is the one with whom i had talk few hours before the interview took place.yes i got so many things to learn from this interview i just got how to open up the mind not to put it under pressure just speak your mind thats it nothing this unoverse require i guess ..i just played myself like a dumb infontr of those big elegant persons.i was frank but only thing is i coundt express myself welll so really i have to practice a lot to put my best infront of the people.i just bluffed some questions specially the IAS level questions im really really very very upset with my interview huh still got good marks not bad at alll so god please dont make me to just sit and watch movies i want to load  myself with some cofidence so pl;ease help in that so i think the best way to bigin these things is join dance classes or karate or swimming so these activities make you feel confdent about yourself so girl geet get up gear up move fast.tyhe person called ouradkar was the person who just dont accept things easily he said it iwas lacking where.but still my smile and simpliness made to the verage still happy and thankfull to interviewers..